Dating Under (Dog) Influence


I became a dog person the day I met Lulu. Full of energy and sweetness, she was in my charge for a week while her owner went on vacation. Little did I know that year later Lulu would come to live with me and turn me into the kind of person I used to laugh at. You know the type. At the mention of the word “dog” out come a million pictures and videos of all the cute things she does. Dog people instantly unite sharing dog love.

Not everyone is a dog person, though. Which leads me to the predicament single girls on dog love find themselves regularly. To date, or not to date, and how when real love waits for you at home.

While it is true that no human will ever greet you with the enthusiasm of your dog, do consider the benefits of human connection and companionship. Yes, pleasing humans is harder, but a dog won’t buy you dinner in a fancy restaurant or take you to the movies. In fact, you likely spend more money on your pooch than yourself.  If you couple up with another human, you can both provide for your true love, just don’t tell the human that.

Your human comes with better language skills. You can send him to run errands. He could help with the chores. All of which will free up time for you to enjoy your furry soulmate. Occasionally, when you feel the need for a night out, your human could dogsit and save you a few bucks. You can even train the human how to entertain your puppy properly. It could be a win-win situation for you and your furry love-bomb.

Do consider that sometimes your trusted dog ends up liking your guy more than you. Some say dogs prefer the deeper tones of a man’s voice. Others that your pup sees your guy as another fun toy. No getting around it, it sucks. Be prepared to deal with unintended consequences.

If you do decide to ditch the pj’s, dress up and go out, make sure you get a doggie sitter. Somehow,  guys take it personally and feel unappreciated when you run after dessert to let your dog out. A dog, they say, is worse than a child. Dating a single mom means that at least part of the time the children will be with the father, leaving mom available for unincumbered adventures. Kids grow up and eventually can be left alone for extended periods. They can heat up their own dinner and entertain themselves. Dogs need walking, dinner on time, and attention almost all of the time. They never learn independence. According to a statistic, I read somewhere, about 26% of guys will not date a girl with a dog. Period. End of story.

Assuming you get a guy to come home with you, remember, two people in a bed plus a dog is more than some can bear, especially if your dog insists on supervising the action closely or even getting in on it. A dominance thing, perhaps, or your dog is trying to protect you from the aggressor. My advise – go on top, or lock your dog in another room, leave it in the yard. Whatever it takes to reduce the dog’s distress.  Offer extra love and high-value treat after, to the dog of course.

Your dog walks outside without shoes, goes potty and it doesn’t wipe. I suggest you always wet wipe or wash all four of your child’s paws and its bottom before entering the house. Spear yourself a lengthy hygiene conversation later when your dog jumps on your bed. Still, not everyone likes to spoon a creature with a proclivity for licking its butt, especially when it wiggles its way between the two of you. Be patient and relocate your dog to the other side. The best arguments are the ones you can avoid.

I know you adore your dog and have at least fifty pet names for it. Now, try to come up with one for your guy. If he’s still around despite your clear preference for your dog, he deserves it. Just don’t say it in the same goofy tone of voice you use for your dog. He may feel patronized. If you want to keep the human, treat him like one. Anyone who still likes you despite, or perhaps because of, your obsession for your dog deserves credit and appreciation. Just be aware of guys who’d rather be with your dog than you. They make great dog sitters, by the way. Don’t dismiss the opportunity to stay good (dog) friends.

Remember, guys want to be admired just as much as your dog likes to play. Never show more than one picture of your dog on a first date. Leave your phone in your purse and only look for updates from your dogsitter when in the bathroom.  Hopefully, you’ll come across as normal, and he’ll want to take you on another date. If he shows genuine interest in your loved one, then cross your fingers and put on the charm. If he offers to walk your dog with you and to pick up the poop, you definitely have a keeper! Do NOT blow this one. Or do… but maybe not on a first date.

I am not saying that trying to date while you own the best dog (or two) on the planet, is easy. But it can be worth it. Indulge in discussions with someone who can speak your language. Enjoy a scratch on your back. Learn to communicate your needs and wants in an adult manner. In general, people allow you to learn to be a better human… for your dog’s sake, of course.

Happy dating!

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